My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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