I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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