Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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