Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
