Why does Corona taste like a burp?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
