can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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