3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
