My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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