yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize