question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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