she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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