He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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