My Higher Power is John Stamos
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
