OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Randomize
