Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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