i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
