I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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