That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize