So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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