Just fell off a train. Bad.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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