But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
