we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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