I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
