I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
