I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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