I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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