So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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