dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
