highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
