I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
my liver is dry heaving
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
