Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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