Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
