Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
