Bisexual people are plain selfish.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize