the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
