You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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