then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
where am i from again
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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