So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
