She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
