dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
