We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
we're so committed to being not committed
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
