We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
