i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
wow bdsm is so cute
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
