Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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