His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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