Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
