omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
