we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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