i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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