is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
