yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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