Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize