Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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