i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
honey bunches of taint.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
