You made me cry and you don't even care
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
