I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
