Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
