Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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