just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize