he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
