So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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