This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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