Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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