K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
