I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
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