Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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