i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
