do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
